Story | Your New Wings

What’s In My Shoe?

by Tina Smith | Jan 20, 2023 | Story

Peace of mind can be found in the strangest places

For me, once, it was in my shoe.

In 2011 our family moved from Australia to Brazil for my husband’s work. Our kids were just five and seven, and we went from suburban Melbourne life to São Paulo – a city of 12 million people. For a farm girl, it was a seismic shift.

I had to learn Portuguese, navigate driving on the opposite side of the road, and juggle all the emotional and logistical layers that come with being a trailing spouse: finding schools, creating routine, building community, and wondering who I was in the midst of so much upheaval.

There are many stories I could tell from our time in Brazil, but this one is about being in search of peace of mind.

The Lifeline I Hid in My Shoe

São Paulo was vibrant and beautiful, but also unpredictable. Carjackings were a daily reality. We drove a bullet-proof car. The road outside our kids highly regarded international school was known for bank robberies.

Inside our apartment compound I felt secure.
Outside, especially with the kids with me, I was constantly scanning, planning, preparing for possibilities.

One day, while mentally rehearsing “escape” scenarios, it hit me:
If I lost my phone or was mugged, I would have no way to call for help.

So I asked myself:
What do I need to feel safe?

Two answers came instantly:

My husband’s phone number
The 24-hour emergency number for my husband’s company’s head of security

Those two numbers were my lifeline.
But then came the practical question:

Where do you keep something you must never lose?

I realised the one thing that always went everywhere with me — even on the most stressful days — was my shoes.

So I made tiny labels with those phone numbers and tucked them under the inner soles of every pair I owned. For sandals and Havaianas, I wrote the numbers in permanent marker.

Such a small thing… and yet it changed everything.

I suddenly felt prepared.

The Part I was Embarrassed to Admit

Looking back, I can smile at the ingenuity of hiding phone numbers in my shoes – but at the time, I was embarrassed to tell anyone.

I didn’t want to admit that I needed a lifeline.
That I wasn’t fully in control.
That I was afraid.

But wanting to feel safe is human.
Especially when we are responsible for small people who trust us with their whole world.

Fast Forward to the English Midlands

Four years later, we moved again – this time to the UK.

In some ways it was easier:

I spoke the language (well… Australian!)
Our boys were older
The environment felt familiar and non-threatening

And yet, something unexpected happened.
With no expat structure around me, no “new arrivals” community, no support for hearts and minds… the transition was, in some ways, harder.

Once again, I found myself in search of peace of mind.

I didn’t reach for a Sharpie and my shoes this time.
Instead, I reached out to my coach — someone who could help me sort through the swirling questions, unsteadiness, and identity shifts that come with relocation.

Those conversations grounded me.
Just like the numbers in my shoe once had.

What I’ve Learned

After two international moves and years of supporting other spouses through their transitions, here’s what I know for sure:

Having someone to turn to makes all the difference.
Access to community and local insight reduces stress dramatically.
A single “lifeline” — emotional or practical — can be the difference between coping and flourishing.
When families feel supported, employees thrive in their roles.
Spouses who feel safe, connected, and informed adapt far more quickly and confidently.

Relocation is never just logistical.
It is emotional.
Psychological.
Identity-shifting.

And everyone deserves a lifeline.

**What’s in your shoe?**

So I’ll leave you with the question that shaped my own journey:

What do you need to feel at peace?

Update: If you’re navigating your own transition or simply searching for a bit more peace of mind, I invite you to explore the Your New Wings Hub – a space created with spouses and for spouses. Inside, you’ll find community, resources, courses, and support designed to help you feel grounded, connected, and confident as you find your own next steps. You don’t have to do this alone.
👉 Join us inside the Hub.